The Role of Social Media in Modern Dating

I’ve gone to unique places I otherwise never would have known existed, thanks to going on a date with a local guy. I’ve gotten great travel recommendations and had wonderful experiences, thanks to guys who know their area far better than I do! One of my best dates in Australia went something like lunch and a walk around the marina, 4WDing on the beach, a sunset walk to see kangaroos on the coast, and a homemade dinner. I mean, is that not the perfect Aussie first date?!

I find it exhausting and annoying doing small talk in message conversations – for me, after a few messages, I can usually tell if I’ll vibe/get on with a guy, and want to meet in person. As I’m likely leaving their town soon, I also literally don’t have time to do the back-and-forth messaging for days to arrange something. I’d much rather meet up in person and go on a date – I like when guys initiate this, but I also initiate going on a date a fair amount, too.

However, dating apps can also be very draining and irritating when you travel

No, not every date is going to be a great one. This is the same on the road as it is in real life. You’ll go on dates with people who you don’t connect with, who want different things than you do, who give you the ick or you find annoying. It’s life.

Whether you’re in town for the night and looking for a hookup, or just wanting to go on a date and see what happens, be honest about that! Everyone can manage their expectations and emotions better when both parties are honest.

Social media is a fantastic way to stay connected with people around the world. I regularly joke that if you don’t watch my Instagram stories daily, you’ll probably have no idea where I am. Whether it’s new friends you make or someone you had a romantic connection/attraction with, social media makes it easy to stay in contact. You can keep up with their lives from afar, and stay in touch for years (or decades) later. Who knows, maybe they’ll come travel with you, or you’ll go and visit them!

To use dating apps successfully while you travel long-term, I think you need to be really clear about what you’re looking for – to both yourself, and any potential dates

In 2011, on my first ever trip to the UK, my friend and I accidentally crashed a private party in a pub in London. We met these fun guys who walked us home, I kissed one of them, and we became (and stayed) friends on Facebook. When I moved to Nottingham to study abroad two years later, I messaged this guy and asked if he wanted to meet up in London. We went out for drinks in Soho and it was a great date. I actually continued seeing him when I’d visit London for the first few months I was in England! I never would have had the chance to meet up with him again if I hadn’t had social media as a way to stay in touch and contact him again.

In 2013, I met a Dutch guy in my hostel in Riga , Latvia. We connected instantly and I could tell we were both attracted to each other. A group of us all ended up drinking in the common room, and then going out for drinks and karaoke. We kissed, but he left early the next morning and didn’t have a chance to spend any more time together. But we stayed connected through Facebook. I knew nothing about this guy besides his first and last name, his phone number, and that the city he lived in had direct Ryanair flights to the UK. A few months later, I flew out to see him in the Netherlands – which remains probably the craziest thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t know how old he was, what he did for work, the address where I’d be kone jamaican staying – nothing. In today’s world, you can sus people out a lot more, but I just had to go off my gut instinct. He was a really amazing guy, and I have never regretted it!